Thinking about Covid-19's impact on our lives - Part 3

A lot has been written or said about our state of mental well-being. Depression is still generally misunderstood in the country. It is often equated to being sad (as opposed to being unhappy) and not being able to cope with that sadness. In certain cases, the person might get blamed for not having an outlet or outlets for this 'sadness'. That tends to oversimplify or trivialize something that is much deeper and which requires much more attention than what it looks like to many.

Each one of us may have different ways to cope with the various feelings we experience. Those who have hobbies and other outlets might be giving these more time. Some may pick up a new hobby or more depending on the person's disposition and personality. These can be the simple ones like reading, drawing walking or biking (if allowed depending on the guidelines for outdoor activities). Others can be expensive like gardening (i.e., the plantita/plantito types) or sports biking.

Observing the behavior of my students helped me at least to try to understand what many of them might be feeling but that was when classes were face to face. During these times, it is really difficult to do the same. You cannot 'feel' for someone you are not physically in contact with. Virtual is basically impersonal unless you already know a person and can imagine the body language, how he/she thinks in a variety of situations, how he/she grew up and the environment around him/her. But people also change and a person you knew from 5 years ago may not be the same one now.  Covid-19 certainly changed us. It practically changed the world and how we view life and survival. Sadly though, it does not seem enough to move people to act in order for certain officials to take responsibility for letting the pandemic linger, mutate and infect more as it is doing now. That also needs to change if most of us will survive this ordeal.

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Thinking about Covid-19's impacts on our lives - Part 2

One thing we missed the past year and counting is traveling. We used to travel a lot whether for leisure or work. My last foreign travel was in December 2019. We went to Singapore to watch the U2 concert there and celebrate our wedding anniversary. My last official trip overseas was for a conference in Colombo, Sri Lanka in September 2019. That was my new place I'd visited for 2019.

A Hindu temple in Colombo (photo taken during a tour of the city in September 2019)

Marveling at a view of Kandy, the old capital of Sri Lanka

The crowd that turned up for the U2 concert at the National Stadium in Singapore last December 2019

 

My last long distance domestic travel was to Zamboanga City in late January 2020. I was supposed to travel there in March last year to conduct field surveys for our project but then the lockdowns came. The timing was good because it was announced a couple of days before our trip and we just canceled it altogether. We could have been stranded in Zamboanga for at least a month before we got the chance to go home.

Since then, we have been limited in our travels and so I was quite glad there was an opportunity to get out of the house and have a long drive when Metro Manila and surrounding provinces (what we now refer to as NCR plus) transitioned to General Community Quarantine (GCQ) for a long period in 2020. That trip was with neighbors who we came to know and become friends with during the lockdown. The trip to Ugu Bigyan's place in Tiaong, Quezon was well worth it for the food, pottery and fellowship.

Ugu Bigyan's pottery is one of the finest in the country

We now look forward again to the next trip as we again transition from MECQ to GCQ. That might be a trip to Caliraya (which was supposed to be in January 2021 but which we had to postpone due to the weather).

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Thinking about Covid-19's impacts on our lives - Part 1

I should have written about this last year but perhaps I also was in some sort of denial about what is happening around us. I guess that's one way of coping with the immense impacts of the Covid-19 pandemic on our lives. A lot if not everything has changed and in many cases, it appears that we are quite helpless or unable to influence outcomes. The notorious statement "Sumunod ka na lang!" or "Just obey/follow!" that was the apparent slogan of die-hard supporters of the current regime just scrapes the bottom of the proverbial barrel that is the pandemic of our time. 

How many people whom I personally know have been infected by Covid-19? And how many have survived?

Last year, a very close friend and kumare (Godmother to our daughter) caught the virus. Fortunately, she was asymptomatic and only had to go on a 2-week quarantine before she was cleared. It was also fortunate that none of her immediate family members were infected (others in their household tested negative).

Just after Holy Week, I learned that a close friend had to be hospitalized after testing positive for Covid-19. He had diabetes, a comorbidity that required him to be closely monitored. He has since recovered after being diagnosed of having mild pneumonia that doctors attributed to the virus. That was likely a close call considering Covid-19 to have seriously afflicted many who have comorbidity like diabetes and hypertension.

A couple of weeks ago, I learned that a longtime work acquaintance passed away due to Covid. He had just retired last December 2020. I recalled that he even asked me to get him as a lecturer in our training programs at the university after he retired from the government agency he worked at. That was after one of many meetings and small talks we had after Mass at the parish church we go to during Sundays before the lockdown last year. 

Yesterday, I learned another close friend had contracted Covid and was already recovering at a private hospital. He is a health buff and known to be quite careful when heading out to secure supplies for his family. Still, somehow, someway, he was infected by the virus. Fortunately, too, his wife and children were negative for the virus.

We try to be as careful as we can - wearing face masks and shields whenever we are out of our homes. We try to eat healthy and take our medications and vitamin supplements to fortify our resistance to becoming ill. Soon, many of us will also be vaccinated vs. Covid-19 (I already got my first dose last April 21.). Some of us are more fortunate than others in that we have the space and environment that allows us to have the physical distance and ventilation required to reduce chances of getting infected. Such, however, has led to us being detached from loved ones and friends. We hope to reconnect with them very soon even as we continue to struggle with the threat of Covid-19. There is always that longing to be with certain people that virtual meetings or phone calls cannot replace.

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Year-end ponderings on life and death leading to the New Year

A friend lost his daughter a few weeks ago to what was diagnosed as clinical depression. I learned from various sources that she had already had one attempt to take her own life recently. I also learned that she turned 18 just a week before the end. From all accounts including my friend's and those who knew her, there was no indication of her depression or her going through rough times. The photos in the slideshow at the wake showed what anyone can consider as a happy childhood and a happy, loving family. I have known my friend for almost 29 years now and I know him to be a man of strong faith and convictions. I know that he is an affectionate father and one with a good sense of humor, too.

I could not imagine what my friend and his wife were and are still going through right now. It is certainly a most difficult time given this tragic event. My friend is grieving and has only recently returned to social media where his posts reveal that he is still sorting things in his mind and heart. I pray that he may find solace in his faith and that he would be comforted by happy memories I am sure he keeps of his daughter.

We were at the wake the last Friday before her remains were cremated and witnessed the tributes and testimonials given by the daughter's classmates. The music they shared touched most if not everyone. I felt their grief, their sadness over what happened to a person they regarded as a dear friend. She was Grade 12 and would have graduated next year. She just took the UPCAT and could have passed the entrance examination and go on to study at UP. Sadly, that will not come to be.

Friends talk about how social media and all these information available to us now tend to influence he way we think and feel. I, too, think there's just a lot of information going around these days and people especially the young don't generally know how to filter what's valid or true from the fake. This creates a confusion of the mind and the heart, which may lead to depression and to some, a general loss of hope. It is this hopelessness that we need to address but more so by tackling the root causes. Many people like to say we need to "go back to the basics" and yet it seems they do not know what the "basics" are all about. Perhaps we should have less of social media, of the internet? More of family time, of outdoor activities and interactions? I think we should.

I wish everyone a peaceful, joyful, hopeful, healthy and prosperous 2019!

Praying for a miracle for Nay Nene

February has always been a happy month for me. For one, it is my birth month and so we usually have some celebration during the latter part of the month. It is also the birth month of my niece and I have a lot of happy memories of things happening in February (e.g., my first trip to Japan, my first experience of snow, etc.). This year was not supposed to be different because it is my 45th and we had already planned a family trip over the weekend. So much for a happy February...

Earlier today, I received news from my father that a beloved aunt (his elder sister) was hit by a jeepney. She is now in critical condition in a hospital in Iloilo and we are trying to confirm exactly what injuries she sustained. My brother says that from his conversation with our cousins, it looks bleak and we can only hope for a miracle for my aunt to get through this.

Nanay Nene or Enriqueta Regidor is one of only two living siblings of my father. The other, Nay Paring (Amparo Torre) is older and lives with her in my paternal side's ancestral home in Cabatuan, Iloilo. Although Nay Nene has had some health problems recently and the past few years, these were mostly the typical illnesses attributed to her advanced age (sakit ng matatanda). I've known her to be a tough lady but she was very kind, very cheerful and that is how I want to remember her from my childhood days spent in Iloilo during summer breaks.

Nay Nene (4th from left) beside my lola (3rd from left) in front of our old house in Cabatuan, Iloilo (photo taken in March 1974, just after my 2nd birthday)

She was like a mother to me and I was very fond of her. I used to tag along with her whenever I was in Iloilo whether its going to the market, on a religious procession or to church. It was she who usually cooked for us whenever we were in Iloilo. It was she who usually accompanied us to the airport when we returned to Manila. Nay Nene was a teacher and one among many close relatives who probably influenced me into teaching, too.

This is going to be a long night and a critical one at that. We can only pray that Nay Nene will get through the night and hopefully recover. Only God knows what about His plan for her and we surrender to His will.

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Message in a rainbow

With all the negative things happening around the world and especially in this country, the first thing that came to my mind when I looked out from our viewpoint in Leyte towards Samar was - HOPE!

The photo, taken from my phone, doesn't do justice to the rainbow. It was the clearest, brightest and largest (we were close) I've seen. I only wished our daughter Ally could have seen this one where ROYGBIV were so clear for everyone to see.

There's just too much violence and other bad things happening all around us. This makes the saner ones of us ponder about where God is in this time when our faith is being tested. We think about logic, philosophy as people use their beliefs to justify things they probably won't be doing to loved ones. I think we all need to tone down on our attitudes and rhetoric. Perhaps we should be taking some time-out from whatever there are that make us "nega". These include social media, news, and even perhaps contact with "nega" people. It will probably make our lives less toxic and help us get back to a more positive outlook than what we have now. We can start by getting out more often and enjoying the simpler things in life. Yes, that includes looking out to see rainbows that remind us of hope!

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